


Not If I Can Help It

by fabulously_frenzied



Series: Not If I Can Help It [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien’s a total himbo in this universe and You Can’t Stop Me, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s01 Origines | Origins Parts 1-2, F/M, all I see are some kids who know how to stand up for themselves, master fu? who's that?, the kids are alright
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26325487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabulously_frenzied/pseuds/fabulously_frenzied
Summary: Evidently, Marinette's been chosen to be a superhero, but someone expects her to do this job with no idea what's going on or what she's doing?That's not gonna fly.Rewrite of Origins, parts I and II.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Not If I Can Help It [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2133378
Comments: 30
Kudos: 260





	1. Origins, Part I

“Tikki? If you can hear me, I want my normal clothes back! I’m not going anywhere!”

Marinette’s had some pretty terrible first days of school before, but _this?_

 _This_ is just bizarre.

No answer. Amazing. A strange box appears in her room (and she has _no idea_ how it even got there) containing a flying polka-dotted bug-mouse, named Tikki, apparently, and some earrings, and now she’s supposed to save the city or something. 

_This is too much responsibility for a thirteen-year-old,_ she thinks.

Whatever happened when Tikki the bug-mouse had Marinette say the magic words that dressed her up in this ridiculous, too-tight onesie, it evidently made Tikki disappear, too.

 _“That monster out there is a victim being controlled by an akuma, an innocent creature made evil by Hawk Moth, who exploits the Butterfly Miraculous for an unknown, corrupt reason. We do not know how he came to possess the Miraculous or what he intends to use it for, but we know it can’t be good,”_ she’d told Marinette. _“It is your job to break the object where the akuma is hiding and release its victim from evil, then purify the akuma so it can’t hurt anyone else!”_ As if it were just that simple!

Marinette stands and processes for a moment. What are the odds that all this is real, anyway? She’s probably just dreaming, which means she’ll wake up later and find she’s late for school. Again. And if that’s the case, would she rather fight some strange supervillain while wearing an embarrassingly tight costume, or face another terrible first day of school in yet another class with _Chloé?_

Ah, screw it. Monstrous raging rock giants sound tame in comparison.

  


* * *

  


One flying catboy, one amateur reporter, and one inflated wetsuit later, Marinette catches and tears the stray piece of paper that falls out of Stoneheart’s hand. A sickly black butterfly escapes the shreds, but Marinette turns to make sure Ivan is okay. Glancing at the paper in her hand, she smiles to herself and places a hand on the boy’s shoulder. Ivan looks away.

“Kim wrote it. He’s always making fun of me,” he grumbles.

Her heart softens. “There’s no shame in telling someone you love them, Ivan.” She makes a mental note to check in with him once she gets back to school. If anything, she’ll at least talk some sense into Kim.

Before Ivan can even ask how a brand new superhero knows his name, Chat Noir bounds up to her. “You were incredible, miss—uh… Bug lady! You did it!”

 _Bug lady?_ Really? She shrugs. “We both did it, partner,” she shoots back, holding up a fist. He bumps it, grinning, startling as his ring begins to beep. He salutes her, turning away to take his leave, but she catches his arm.

“Hey, wait, don’t go just yet!”

“But I thought—”

“Give me just a second, okay?” she requests, and he hesitates a moment before nodding firmly. She looks to Alya, who’s been trying to wave her down ever since the fight ended.

“Amazing!” the girl blurts. “Are you gonna protect Paris from now on?”

“As long as Paris needs us, we’ll be there,” she responds with as much confidence as she can muster, and Chat Noir _whoops_ from behind her. “For now, the next time a giant monster starts rampaging in the city, please be careful. We want you—and everyone in Paris—to stay safe,” though she can see immediately that the look in Alya’s eyes means she doesn’t intend to stop chasing supervillains any time soon. Her earrings beep, snapping her back to the moment. “For now, uh, Ladybug! Yeah! Ladybug, out!” She salutes Alya and her camera, taps her partner and motions for him to follow her, then swings away.

“Hey, uh, Ladybug!” Chat Noir calls from beside her, using his baton to vault himself across the city with her. “I hope you have a plan, because—”

“Down here!” she calls back, spotting a flat rooftop away from the bustling center of the city. The moment they touch down, green light washes over Chat Noir, leaving an unmasked blond boy in her partner’s place. A creature she can only assume is the Cat kwami pops out of the ring and _immediately_ starts yelling.

“Kid, what was the _one_ rule I actually had the chance to tell you before you shut me up and went out without a clue what you were doing?” He flies up and starts repeatedly bonking himself against the boy’s forehead. _“No one can know who you are!”_

Of all the reactions Marinette could have anticipated, this was not one of them. Her earrings beep again, a little more urgently, before her own pink light sweeps over her and leaves her the way she was before transforming. Tikki reappears, spots the Cat kwami and the now-unmasked Chat Noir, and her eyes nearly bug out of her head.

“What’s going on?! You’re not supposed to know who each other is!” she cries, causing the boy to look up and stare. His eyes widen, then he looks away again.

“You mean you expect us to do this _by ourselves?”_ Marinette demands. “How are we supposed to be _partners_ if we don’t even know who the other is? How are we supposed to be able to trust each other if we don’t even know each other’s _names?”_

“Because that’s not how it _works,_ kid!” The other kwami zips right up to her face. “You two aren’t supposed to tell _anyone,_ even your partner, who you are! Master’s orders!”

“Plagg! They’re not supposed to know about Master yet, either!” Tikki squeals, slapping an arm? paw? over the cat’s mouth.

“Well, that’s dumb,” the boy finally says. “I’m with the lady here. There’s no way we can work together effectively if we don’t get to know each other first. Who’s this master, anyway?”

“No one I want to meet if he makes as little sense as this,” Marinette mutters, and the boy snickers. She steps over to him, holding out her hand. “Hi! I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Nice to meet you, partner.”

He smiles back, taking her hand and shaking it. “Hi M-mar—I… oh, wow,” he stammers, scratching the back of his head with his other hand.

“You okay there, buddy?” she asks, and he blushes furiously.

“Hm? Oh, uh, yeah, it’s just, ah, you’re definitely the cutest girl I’ve ever met,” he mumbles, blushing even harder somehow. “Like, you were pretty in the suit, too—pretty amazing, that is! Uh, I mean, oh, no…” He hasn’t let go of her hand yet, so Marinette squeezes ever so slightly. He notices, letting go with a yelp. “Sorry,” he says.

“No, no, it’s okay,” she says quickly. “What’s your name?”

He startles again. Goodness, this boy is jumpy. “Oh! Uh, me? I’m… I’m Adrien Agreste.”

 _Agreste?_ Why did that name sound familiar? “Wait, _Agreste?_ As in, _Gabriel Agreste,_ my most favorite fashion designer ever and total icon? _That_ Agreste?!” she squeals.

Adrien blinks, pausing. “I mean, also as in Adrien Agreste, his supermodel son and teen heartthrob of Paris, but yeah, him too, I guess.”

 _“Wow!_ I can’t believe—! Anyway, it’s nice to meet you, Adrien! It’s great to know my partner’s name. Hey!” She digs into her pocket and pulls out her phone. “Can I get your number? We should probably have a way of contacting each other if something happens. And so we can get to know each other better!”

Adrien smiles again and starts to reach for his own phone, but the Cat kwami—Plagg—hisses and zips in between them. “No, no, no! That’s not how this works! Your identities are supposed to be secret! We can’t let you be heroes if you know who the other is! Master’s orders!”

“Plagg, wait—” Tikki floats up to him. “Maybe they have a point. It’s not really fair to keep them in the dark, is it?”

“But Fu said—”

“I know, but think about it! He’s just thrown these two kids into a fight they know nothing about! The least we can do is let them learn to know and trust each other,” she adds, then narrows her eyes. “Besides, it’s not like he can tell us what to do. He may be the master, but not through any merit of his own.”

Plagg’s expression darkens. “Yeah, _Yeah._ What is he, 186 years old?” Both Marinette and Adrien gasp. _186 years old?_ “That’s nothing compared to us! What, does he think we don’t know what we’re doing by now? That we don’t know how to take care of our own chosen? You and I have been around since the dawn of time, for cheese’s sake!”

“Th-the… I’m sorry, the _dawn of time?”_ Adrien splutters, and Plagg just cackles.

“We’ll teach you what you need to know,” Tikki answers. “For now, I think you two should be heading home. We can discuss this all later. And Marinette?”

“Hm?”

“I’m proud of you,” the kwami says, and it’s Marinette’s turn to blush. “I wouldn’t normally have allowed something like this, but you made a strong point and you stood up for yourself and your partner. You two are going to be great heroes, I just know it!”

“Thanks, Tikki,” she replies softly. She turns to her partner, Adrien, quickly tapping her number into his phone. She ruffles his hair (is he leaning into her touch?) and gives him a thumbs up. 

“See you soon, partner. Tikki, _transformez-moi!”_


	2. Origins, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a little more like a wrap-up to the first chapter than a chapter in its own right bc of how short it is. anyway, enjoy!

It is certainly a most unusual day. Citizens of Paris buzz with the anxiety and excitement of two never-before-seen superheroes fighting an unknown evil. A masked man bides his time under the cold light strained by a stained-glass window. A once-innocent butterfly makes its way to the top of the Eiffel tower, settles down, and multiplies by hundreds.

Most unusual, however, is Marinette Dupain-Cheng waking up on time for once.

Awake and alive with newfound confidence and enthusiasm, Marinette practically bounces all the way from her bedroom to the bakery. She’s a superhero! With a superhero partner! (And if anyone asked, the dark circles under her eyes are _not_ from the time she spent texting said superhero partner last night. Absolutely not.) Patting the purse she sewed up yesterday to check that Tikki is securely inside, she nabs a croissant off her mother’s tray, kisses her father’s cheek goodbye, and skips through the door.

Nearly the moment the school is in sight, Alya jumps her, shoving her phone in her face. That ladybug charm hanging off the case wasn’t there yesterday.

“Ladyblog, bringing you all the latest news about the coolest superhero, Ladybug! How awesome is that?!” Alya grins brightly enough to rival the sun, and Marinette flushes at her friend’s unwitting praise.

“Just Ladybug? I thought Chat Noir was pretty cool,” she replies. “They made a pretty good team yesterday.”

“Oooooh, _girl,_ are you crushing on Paris’s new knight in leather armor?” Alya elbows her playfully, but Marinette hardly feels it as she takes in the crowd by the school steps. The words _“once a monster, always a monster”_ float to her ears above the noise, and instead of shuddering in self-defense at the sound of that voice like she’s done so many times before, she feels a new resolve take root deep in her gut.

“Leave Ivan alone, Chloé.” She marches through the crowd to its center, stepping between the bully and the victim. “What happened yesterday wasn’t Ivan’s fault and you know it. Everyone knows you’re the _real_ monster here,” she finishes, jutting out her chin, crossing her arms over her chest. Her classmates _oooh_ around her: Marinette Dupain-Cheng is finally standing up to Chloé Bourgeois after how many years of torment?

Chloé starts to respond when a sleek gray sedan pulls up to the curb, and she gasps before the door of the car even opens.

 _“Adrikins!”_ she croons. “You came!” She practically assaults the blond stranger as he steps out of the car, throwing her arms around his neck. He chokes, stammers, staring at the crowd of students now glaring daggers at the apparent brat’s friend.

“Adrien?” Marinette asks, turning from comforting Ivan, and the moment his eyes meet hers, his entire being lights up.

“Whoa, _Marinette?_ ” He all but throws Chloé off of him, bounding up to her. “You go to school here? I had no idea! What are the odds?” The crowd steps back hesitantly as he approaches, but Marinette’s smile only grows.

“Only my entire life! Wait, are _you_ the new student we were supposed to meet yesterday? Thank _goodness,_ when Chloé said her friend was coming to class, I thought we were going to have to put up with two of her!” She laughs, not quite catching Adrien’s confusion, and takes his arm. “Hey, would you like me to show you around? We’ve got some time before class starts and I know my way around here. Years of tripping all over the tiles have made me pretty well acquainted with the place,” she says, and he laughs.

“You? Tripping? I can’t imagine that.”

“Ex- _cuse me?!”_ Chloé shrieks, storming toward them, and the crowd parts further. “Get your grubby little peasant hands off of him, Dupain-Cheng! Don’t you know who this _is?”_

“If he’s any friend of Chloé’s, then I don’t think I _want_ to know,” Alya mutters. The class mutters with her. Marinette, alarmed, turns to them.

“No, no! Guys, this is Adrien Agreste, and he’s a friend of mine! Right, Adrien?” And any confusion written on Adrien’s face immediately melts into hopeful joy at Marinette calling him her friend.

“Yeah! We, uh, we met yesterday! During the akuma attack. Marinette’s pretty awesome, and I can’t be the only one who thinks so,” he says, scratching the back of his head.

A beat passes before anyone opens their mouth again, and of course Chloé is the first to speak up.

 _“WHAT?!_ Adrien, how were you anywhere _near_ this brat? I thought your father forced you to stay home yesterday!”

“No, wait, hang on a second, Chloé,” Adrien frowns, “that’s not very nice. I don’t know what it is you have against Marinette, but she’s been nothing but amazing to me since we met. Besides, I _just_ said we met during the akuma attack. There was kind of a lot going on,” he adds.

Chloé splutters, and he turns back to Marinette. “Uh, if the offer’s still open, I would actually really appreciate that tour of the school you were talking about?” Marinette blinks, then smiles and takes his hand.

“Follow me,” she beams, leading him into the school, leaving the rest of her class to stare and wonder _what on earth happened to the real Marinette._

And if, later when the school starts to shake again, anybody noticed Marinette and Adrien share a look before darting off to God knows where… well, it’s certainly been a most unusual day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey frenz! allow me to thank you all for the amazing support you've shown me. I had no idea how much you all would enjoy this AU. a few of you have asked if I intend to continue this AU in any way, and at the moment, I don't have any plans as far as a continuation is concerned, but a _lot_ of you seem to want it.  
> so! I will consider what else I may carve out of this AU. now that I'm thinking about it, there's quite a bit that would have gone differently in Volpina in this particular setting...  
> anyway. if there are other aspiring writers out there who want to show off their own take on this AU, you have all of my support! go for it! I'd love to see what you come up with :)  
> this has been _Not if I Can Help It_ (or _niichi,_ as I've been calling it lately), and thank you so, so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on [tumblr](tumblr.com/fabulously-frenzied)!


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